The Defense

**** ALEC'S INTERROGATION REGARDING THE DAY'S EVENTS ****

Living Room Couch.

7:00 a.m.

ALEC: What were you doing at 7:00 this morning?

KYLA: I watched Nickelodeon shows from last night.

ALEC: What shows?

KYLA: The band one.

KENNA: Big Time Rush?

KYLA: Ya. And iCarly. This is embarrassing.

ALEC: How long did this go on?

KYLA: 5 hours.

Alec's Room.

10:30 a.m.

ALEC: Did you really wake up at 10:30?

ALEC: No. Yes. Sort of. I woke up at 5:30. Moved to my bed. Woke up at 7:30. Decided it was too early to start watching TV. Went back to sleep. And woke up at 10:30.

ALEC: Then what did you do?

ALEC: I think I read. A book. About fictional terrorists. Then I put on white shirt # 1.

Kenna's room.

11:30 a.m.

ALEC: Is it true you were the only one who slept in your room for the night?

KENNA: I did sleep in my room.

ALEC: So you aren't denying your disdain for Kyla's and my habbits?

KENNA: What?

ALEC: Repeats latter question.

KENNA: I am not denying that.

ALEC: What did you do throughout the morning/ afternoon?

KENNA: *Blank stare* I don't remember. (Henceforth I will use italics to refer to anything spoken in a British accent.)

KYLA: You watched Cadet Kelly.

KENNA: Two minutes of it. Then I watched MTVs Sweet Sixteen Biggest Bash Countdown, while also watching Extreme Resorts and Extreme Water Parks. There was also a countdown of Say Yes to the Dress.

Under the fridge.

11:32 a.m.

Scorpion: *Sitting*

Harkins Theaters.

2:10 p.m.

ALEC: Did you make it on time for Shrek?

KYLA: Yes. I even saw some of the previews for the previews.

ALEC: When was the last time you made it on time for a movie?

KYLA: *Thinks for a LONG time* March 18th.

ALEC: Do you have a witness that could confirm your alibi?

KYLA: Yes.

Yogurt Land.

2:11 p.m.

ALEC: I thought you were cutting back the sugar.

ALEC: Nope.

ALEC: Good to hear.

ALEC: Yep.

Kenna's Room

3:00 p.m.

ALEC: What were you doing?

KENNA: I'm pretty sure I was still watching all my countdown's at that time.

Under the Fridge.

3:02 p.m.

SCORPION: *Sitting. Planning.*

Kenna's Room.

5:30 p.m.

ALEC: What were you doing?

KENNA: Probably still watching my countdowns. Or I was on Facebook.

(Later adds she was cleaning her room.)

Living Room Couch.

5:30 p.m.

ALEC: What were you doing.

ALEC: I got a phone call. It was from Kyla. She needed me to bail her out of jail.

Just kidding. She needed me to pick her up from the mall.

So I put on white t-shirt # 2

Mall

5:45 p.m.

ALEC: Did you notice I was wearing a different white t-shirt?

KYLA: Definitely not.

ALEC: Great. Did you enjoy Shrek the 4th final chapter that may make a reappearance in year 2030?

KYLA: That's debatable.

ALEC: Do you have an alibi that could confirm you were not in fact in jail?

KYLA: Yes.

Under the Fridge.

5:45 p.m.

SCORPION: *Sitting. Planning. Scheming.*

**** ACTUAL DIALOGUE ****

Computer Room.

7:00 p.m.

KENNA: I'm Hungry. Let's order pizza.

ALEC: Let's not. Then I'll eat it.

Kitchen

7:30 p.m.

ALEC : Let's order pizza.

KENNA: What kind do you want?

ALEC: Vegetarian.

KENNA: No, what brand.

(Insert long conversation about the pros and cons of Hungry Howies v. Papa Johns.)

(Also, insert 14 fruitless games of noes goes.)

Computer Room

7:45 p.m.

(Kenna orders pizza. Notes that it will be ready in 15-30 minutes.)

Computer Room

7:47 p.m. - 8:10 p.m.

(Job Search.)

(Alec changes into white t-shirt # 3).

Blockbuster

8:15 p.m.

ALEC: Well these movies don't look interesting.

KYLA: Let's get a Mary Kate & Ashley movie.

ALEC: Well these movies don't look interesting.

KENNA: How about we get a Mary Kate & Ashley movie.

ALEC: Okay, how about Pirate Radio?

KENNA & KYLA: *Blank stares.*

ALEC: They don't have Prison Break here. Let's leave.

BLOCKBUSTER EMPLOYEE 1: Is there anything I can help you with?

ALEC: No. Thank you!

ALEC: Oh. They do have Prison Break here!

(Insert more annoyed chatter about movies that might be worth 2 hours of our lives)

KYLA: What about Definitely, Maybe.

KENNA: Winner.

BLOCKBUSTER EMPLOYEE 2: You have a $50 credit on your account.

ALEC: WHAAAA?

BLOCKBUSTER EMPLOYEE 2: You might want to look into that.

(Leave Blockbuster)

8:40 p.m.

Fry's

8:43 p.m.

KENNA: The pizza was ready 30 minutes ago.

ALEC: What do you want to drink?

KENNA: Rootbeer.

ALEC: They don't have Barq's. We'll have to get A&W.

KENNA: %$(*#Q*&$

Papa John's

9:03 p.m.

ALEC: Do you still have our pizza?

Papa John's Employee #1: Yes.

KENNA: It's under Jennifer.

PAPA JOHN'S EMPLOYEE #1: *Confused Stare*

KENNA: No wait. It's under Kenna.

KENNA (Cont.): Oooohhh they have Barq's Rootbeer.

ALEC: We'll take one of those, too.

Under the Fridge

9:04 p.m.

SCORPION: *Still sitting. Planning. Scheming. Getting ready to escape.*

**** To save on time, a brief description, rather than a word-for-word recount, of the evening****

We watch the movie.

Eat the pizza.

Drink the Barq's rootbeer.

Consider swimming.

Turn on Toy Story.

Bake a cake.

Frost a cake.

Try to convince in-convincible sisters to eat cake.

Throw away a different cake.

Change the channel.

Watch a show about a monkey with a disease.

Watch My Big Fat Greek Wedding on commercials.

Find a new book to read. One that is not about fictional terrorists.

Lose Kyla to sleep.

Lose Kenna to a messy room.

Lose Alec to a near sugar comma.

**** Back to Alec's Interrogation ****

Kitchen 2:00 a.m.

ALEC: What exactly happened before you screamed quote SCORPION unquote?

KENNA: I was walking out to get a garbage bag so I could clean my room, when I saw a scorpion.

ALEC: Could you please describe the location of said SCORPION?

KENNA: By the fridge.

ALEC: Did it look menacing? If so, please clarify.

KENNA: Yes. When I got close to it its tail went into attack motion. *Tears up* (Shows hooked finger to demonstrate position of tail.)

ALEC: Kyla, was it true you were asleep through this traumatic experience?

KYLA: No because I kept hearing AHHH!

ALEC: Is it true that you pretended to stay asleep so that you would not have to help with the situation?

KYLA: No. *Stalls* I woke up through the AHHHs! and fell asleep through the killing part.

ALEC: Likely story. Is it true, just a few weeks prior you found yourself alone with a similar perpetrator?

KYLA: Yes. It was scary. I was all alone.

ALEC: What did you do?

KYLA: Went to get a shoe. Got scared. Went under--well, it [the scorpion] went under the couch.

ALEC: Is it true Roxy may have saved your life by warning you about the invader?

KYLA: No, she just made me more scared.

ALEC: Is it possible that this was the same offender?

KYLA: Probably not.

ALEC: Is is true you were kind of a sissy through this whole scenario?

ALEC: No comment.

Kitchen.

2:02 a.m.

SCORPION: *Out from under the fridge. Possibly regretting its decision to escape on a night when everyone is hyped up on the caffeine from Barq's rootbeer.*

**** ACTUAL DIALOGUE ****

KENNA: SCORPION!

ALEC: Crap. What are we going to do?

KENNA: (Holding a shoe) Kill it.

ALEC: (Holding a shoe) It's never going to work.

KENNA: Maybe I can put on my running shoes and stomp it.

ALEC: What if it runs under the fridge. I think we should torch it.

KENNA: (Pulling a chair near the fridge) I don't think that's a good idea.

ALEC: Seriously. What do you think would happen if we just torched the tile a bit?

KENNA: What if we drop the shoe on it?

ALEC: (Leaves. Goes to the garage. Finds a hammer. Wonders if the hammer would break the tile. Goes back to the kitchen.)

KENNA: (Sits on the chair. Shoe raised.)

ALEC: We have to kill it.

KENNA: Yep.

ALEC: Maybe we could vacuum it.

(Later finds out that scorpions can crawl out of the vacuum.)

KENNA: I don't think we could get it fast enough.

ALEC: (Leaves. Makes second trip to garage. Finds a dirt devil. Brings it inside.) I don't know how strong it is. *Shrugs*

KENNA: I don't think that's going to work.

SCORPION: *Raises tail in the air menacingly.*

KENNA: *Slams shoes down on scorpion with great force.*

ALEC: *Makes a mental note to be more like Kenna.* Is it dead?

KENNA: I don't know. Its tail isn't moving. (Lifts shoe to see if scorpion is dead)

ALEC: (Screams)

KENNA: (Slams shoe down on scorpion again.)

ALEC: Is it dead?

KENNA: I don't know. Now I can't see its tail. The shoe is covering it. (Lifts shoe but flinches.)

ALEC & KENNA: (Scream)

Living Room Couch.

2:30 a.m.

KYLA: (Lifts head from couch). Alec, you're going to get arrested.

KENNA & ALEC: Laugh.

KYLA: No it's relevant.

((Side Note: It actually was relevant. Sort of.))

Kitchen.

2:32 a.m.

KENNA: I just want to take it outside.

ALEC: Do you want me to pull the chair while you pull the shoe with the allegedly dead scorpion attached?

KENNA: Kind of.

ALEC: (Pulls chair. Too far.)

KENNA: Push me closer.

Kitchen

2:35 a.m.

(Plan Fails)

Kitchen

2:37 a.m.

KENNA: Can we vacuum it up now?

ALEC: I don't know if we should. I'll Google it. (Googles.) Seems fine.

KENNA: (Tries to vacuum. Squishes allegedly dead scorpion to floor.)

Living Room Couch

2:42 a.m.

KYLA: (Offers to clean up scorpion with paper towel. Tries to throw it at Alec. Tries to flush the entire thing down the toilet.)

KENNA & ALEC: You can't flush the paper towel!

KENNA: Take it out to the big garbage.

KYLA: There's scorpions out there though!

ALEC: I'll go with you. Just let me wash my hands.

Trash Can

2:59 a.m.

SCORPION: *wrapped in a paper towel in the bottom of a black trash can.*

Alec's Room

3:00 a.m.

ALEC: (Realizes she has frosting on white t-shirt # 3)

Kenna's Room

4:29 a.m.

ALEC, KENNA & KYLA: (Finish Disclosure.)

- END-

See attached documents for photographic evidence.