ONE
If I were a journalist, I would do an investigative, undercover report on Subway. First, I would pose as recovered drug addict teenager, then I would get a job at my local sandwich shop. Once outfitted with plastic gloves and a green apron, I would finally know the truth to my reoccurring questions--
a) Does Subway have a special training session on how to be successfully stingy with olives? AND does the winner of olive frugality win a plaque?
b) Do they have an opposing policy on mayonnaise?
TWO
One time I was wearing red shoes. And I tripped and fell down the stairs. At the Lincoln Center. In New York City.
Maybe someday I'll tell you that story.
But you'd have to promise not to feel sorry for me.
THREE
I want to go to Paris.
I don't know what I'd do once I got there. Probably sit on some steps and wonder why I didn't buy a map before sailing away to Europe. But I'd still like to go. Mostly for the change of scenery. I would appreciate a brief change of scenery.
I'd also like to go to Disneyland.
On account of it's the happiest place on earth.
And that's a true story.
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