Dear SkyMall

Dear SkyMall:

I want to take my dog on a walk.

I really do.

It's just that, you see, when I walk with the leash in my hand my fingers get so fatigued.

While I've been resting my phalanges, Humphry has grown fat and lazy.

I can't even look at him anymore.

Please help.

Sincerely,

There Must Be a Better Way...

To Walk My Dog.

Dear Lazy Fingers,

Let me assure you. You are NOT alone.

No one likes holding on to the leash.

This, sadly, has resulted in an exponential increase of dog obesity in the last five years.

Please refer to the chart below.

I'd say the data is conclusive.

Exponential.

Increase.

Fortunately for you, there are people--good people--people who want to help.

They're the people of SkyMall.

And they have a solution for you.

It's Name:

THE AERO LEASH

(Please refer to photo below. Which was taken from the www.skymall.com/shopping.)

For the tiny price of $19.99, you too can run with your dog attached to your bicep.

Say goodbye to tired fingers and fatigued hand muscles.

Now you can run hands free.

If you have a blue tooth, you can also talk hands free.

In fact, if you have the computer program that types when you speak, you may not need your hands at all.

Ever again.

Also, as a side benefit, if you're dog is a puller, you're going to get very muscled.

That's right.

Muscled.

Very Muscled.

Best of luck, lazy fingers.

Sincerely,

Monday Morning Reader of SkyMall Magazine

Never stop looking. For a better way.

Disclaimer:

This is not a real SkyMall ad.

It is also not a real letter.

In fact, nothing in this post is real.

Except, incidentally, the product itself.

The Aero Leash is very real.

This scenario is a product of the author's imagination. Anything, (except the actual product as previously noted) that relates to real life is purely coincidental.

This includes the author's dog Roxy.

I repeat. Humphry is not Roxy.

Humphry is not Roxy in an oversimplified shapes form.

Humphry is not even related to Roxy.

They're not even third cousins.

Over and out.