Due to a few not-exactly-technical difficulties, my so-called summer recap is coming not as soon as I previously planned.
But not to worry.
I have thought of a way to make it up to all of you who were fooled into excitement by my brilliant marketing campaign and are now feeling a little let down.
I now bring you--
I Love the 00's.
FLASHBACK!
Okay people, it's 2006.
Lost is on TV. And people's minds are already being blown by the cast of characters that crash landed on a mysterious island.
What they don't realize, is that this show is actually Gilligan's Island with time travel.
They also don't realize that (SPOILER ALERT!) after 6 seasons of confusing plot twists and TV induced headaches, all the characters are just going to die at the end.
When Lost goes to a commercial break--since DVR is nothing more than a distant desire of the general public's imagination and since the general public is tired of watching commercials featuring insurance-buying cavemen--the people of 2006 switch the channel to their second favorite network: MTV.
There, James Blunt is telling them they're beautiful in abnormally whiny vocals while he empties his pockets during his music video that is playing between episodes of My Super Sweet Sixteen and MADE.
Meanwhile, I, a ((currently)) blond girl dressed in a pink polo, am standing in a long line of fame-seeking high schoolers who are all auditioning to be featured on that very TV show (MADE, that is).
Soon, I will try to convince the man who is somehow associated with MTV, that I am shy and insecure. And, furthermore, only learning to salsa dance and then performing at my school's next cultural assembly will cure me of my social awkwardness.*
When the MTV man asks me where the nearest drinking fountain is, I will consider it a test of how well I know my school, so I will try desperately to give him detailed directions to the hallway drinking spot, in an attempt to prove my sound school spirit.
As it will turn out, the MTV man is just thirsty.
Some students will later conclude that the MADE tryouts were just an elaborate senior prank.
But I know they were real.
Because I'm watching it on the news--MTV searching for MADE participants at local high schools makes the 6p.m. lineup.
Also in this year's news--this just in--Pluto is not a planet.
And so begins a new cultural divide. Are you for or against Pluto??
While scientists argue over the differences between dwarf planets and jupiter, I am struggling with my own scientific discoveries.
Specifically, I am looking for a broken refrigerator.
After begging the workers to let us into the dump, my group and I are standing in the middle of a landfill, wondering where to look for appliances.
The workers point us in the right direction, and soon we are videotaping somebody else's trash as we explain the complexities of thermal physics.**
We later show our fridge presentation in class. And get an A.
I do not fall asleep that day.
Speaking of things that are cold, my favorite movie, Eight Below, comes out this year.
I watch it, with my friend that I have known since first grade, on free pancake day at IHOP.
A few months later, I get lost on my way to IHOP.
All I can find is an International House of Pancakes, so I settle.
This is the day I realize that IHOP and International House of Pancakes are one in the same.***
Shortly thereafter, I graduate from high school.
Yay!
A few days before graduation, though, I ask people to sign my yearbook.
They write about MADE and about how I dyed my hair, about the length of time we have known each other and about how I sleep in class.
They don't know that four years later I will read what they wrote.
And I'll miss '06.
And I'll write a flashback on my blog (which is kind of like Live Journal, except, as far as I can tell, slightly less emo).
And I'll say it's to make up for the not-exactly-technical difficulties.
But really, it will be because...
I LOVE THE 00's!
FLASHBACK
* Yes, this really happened.
** True story.
*** I am not kidding. I was meeting friends at IHOP and almost called them to say I could only find the International House of Pancakes. I was just about to make the call when my brain finally made this connection... I-International, H- House, O-of, P-Pancakes!
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