The Fridge is making a loud noise that is distracting my thought process, so if none of this makes sense, let's blame the fridge. OK? OK.

I have been waiting for this day all year long!

It's March.

Pull out your slip 'n slide and get ready for spring, because it's March and things are turning green.

(Okay, technically things have been green for a while now, because it's Arizona and because my grass is fake, but still...)

I love March.

I love it so much that I painted my toes at 11pm last night, so they'd be pretty for March. Then I promptly removed the polish because, as it turns out, I do not have a steady hand at 11 pm.

I love this month so much that when my alarm went off at 6am this morning, I almost actually considered getting out of bed and enjoying the new month. Then I promptly hit the snooze button because, as it turns out, I was tired.

AND... I love March so much that I have decided to log on to this blog and give you an update about my life. (I'll probably promptly delete it because, as it turns out, my updates are lame and slightly nonsensical.)

Since I last wrote, A LOT has happened.

First, I have decided to carry out my destiny as the reincarnation of Jane Austen. So far my achievements in this category include-- actually there is only one-- I have learned how to braid my hair all the way around my head. Also, I have not gotten married, so I guess that makes two.

Goals for this month: write 12 letters to dear friends and relatives. Also, write a novel that will later be turned into a PBS special.

Second, a few weeks ago I decided that ironing is a blatant waste of time. Since then I have spent an immeasurable amount of time trying to come up with creative ways to avoid it. Most of these creative ideas involve a squirt bottle. Occasionally that squirt bottle is followed by a blow dryer. But usually I just use the squirt bottle.

Goals for this month: keep up the good work.

Third, I signed up for the gym.

Goals for this month: go.

Fourth, I have tried to quit sugar 17 times. You should know that these attempts to quit usually end with me shoving chocolate chips down my throat.

Goals for this month: complete attempts to quit sugar 18,19 & 20. And try to keep the relapse chocolate chips to a minimum.

Fifth, I've become a whale detective. I'm not sure exactly what this entails, but I think I'm supposed to encourage people to save the whales. So, if you are eating fish caught by fisherman who kill whales, then STOP! Because if I catch you eating dolphin un-safe tuna, you'll have to face me and the badge (and by badge I mean paper card that I got from the Arizona aquarium).

But seriously, let's save the whales OK? Buy wild-caught salmon from Alaska instead of farmed fish. It's better for everyone.

And that concludes this update.

Oh wait, one more thing:

I just wanted to remind you that it's March.

I love this month.