A Note to my Immune System

I'm sorry if you missed the memo, but this is go time.

Last month I gave you plenty of opportunities for head colds and flu symptoms.

Let's be honest, there were days last month when I begged you for a 24-hour sickness and a reason to knock myself out with NyQuil.

But last month is over, and now I need you to happily accept my offerings of vitamin C and whatever the heck is in cucumber juice, and get me through to May 14 on nine combined hours of sleep with minimal headaches.

Got it?

I promise to dig up some echinacea, if you promise to unfog my head for long enough to finish this story.

I don't know why, but the fact that my ears are clogged is seriously inhibiting my ability to form a coherent, 800 word story out of 20 pages worth of notebook scribbles.

So, since I've already spent most of the day lying on the floor, trying to type over my pillow and forget about the dull pounding in my head, I think we can both agree that three hours of smooth sailing is more than fair.

Also, I don't mean to be overly demanding, but I really need you to have this little mess cleared up by tomorrow.

My symptoms aren't severe and I've only eaten 379 grams of sugar today, so I think my request is reasonable.

If you'd like, I'll even throw some Zicam into the deal.

Even though it tastes like chalk.

Love always (seriously, you're the best immune system anyone could ever ask for),

Alec